The Zagory Rebellion: A night at Heidi's

PANDORA - THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

Pandora lies on the shores of Lake Veronika, and is wholly within the territory of Zagory. It is ruled by Grand Duke Zoltan of the House of Kardz. It has always declared itself to be an independent Principality but is heavily influenced by its neighbours, especially Panovia, who have historically used Pandora as their playground.

The Pandoran military are still equipped with pre-war Panovian arms and uniforms, but only consist of ceremonial troops. Zagory, previously a part of Panovia that was handed to the State of Slovska after the Great War, has declared itself to be a Sovereign State, much to the chagrin of Slovskans, as they were looking forward to the revenue from the newly-discovered oil. Slovska's main difficulty in dealing with Zagory is having to deal with the very large barrier that is Lake Veronika. Panovia actively encouraged Zagorian unrest, in the hope of regaining the territory herself, but has possibly created a monster instead!

Pandora’s Neighbours

Bergland and Slovska have been at daggers drawn for several years, and hardly a month goes by without some form of border incursion taking place. Bergland remained neutral throughout the Great War, but their exports to Panovia of various calibre of "Cuckoo Clocks" did not go un-noticed by Slovska, and Bergland's claim that Zagory belonged to it during the middle ages and should be returned to her instead, merely added fuel to the fire. Slovska has been very secretive of late with a section of its interior in total shut down. Troops and the secret police have sealed the area off from prying eyes, but it seems to be using a great deal of the countries resources. What little is known is that they have bought a fleet of transport planes which spend all their time flying into the area, delivering what? The distraction this caused lead Zagory to believe that now was the time to make a bid for independence.

During Slovska's brief control of Zagory they tried to curry favour with Pandora by presenting her with a lakeside attraction based on the Blackpool tower. No-one knows why as hardly anyone has any idea what the Blackpool tower is, but they willing accepted it in the hope it would boost tourism

Panovia's latest scheme was to form a direct alliance with Pandora via the marriage of the rather homely Princess Fatima to Leonid, the Pandoran Crown Prince. However, that plan fell through when Leonid ran off with Rosemary Crackers, the peroxide-blonde Hollywood D-list starlet, who's talent was on a par with her morals.

The Conference

Grand Duke Zoltan realised how fraught relations were between all the countries, and called for a conference to be held in Pandora in a bid to ease tensions. All the nation's Heads of State were invited to attend, with only the Slovskans refusing to participate. Zagory was unwilling to allow anything larger than a limousine through its territory in order to reach Pandora, so Lake Veronika became the alternative means of access, something Panovia took full advantage of by sending the SS Firefly*, the most powerful, and only, warship of their Navy.

The conference took place at the Prince's rather compact and bijou Palace, named affectionately as Heidi's by the Royal Family in honour of the Prince's late mother, but known as Heidi's Hole to the locals. The conference began with a remarkably well-natured champagne reception, but the banquet that followed almost scuppered the whole event when the first course caused a riot.

Splotch, a thick soup, served tepid, is a staple of the whole region, with each country claiming its own recipe to be the best. The chef must have been a Slovskan as nobody liked it, and what started with muttering and complaints, soon developed into a brawl, with insults and bowls full of the offending Splotch being hurled around the banqueting hall. This caused a day's delay to the conference as new dress uniforms for each participant had to be sent for, and at least one moustache was so damaged the owner had to go home.

As a new day dawns reports are coming in from all stations of troop movements and funny lights in the sky...

The Zagory Rebellion: A night at Heidi's aka Carry on Tintin is a neo-retro and pseudo-nostalgic wargame set in a fictional central Europe during the interwar period. Figures are from the Mark’s Little Soldiers range by Mark Copplestone.

Rules for the game with QRS and cards are available here.